With thirteen lovers I hid beneath the covers
got staples in my hands for my time
With the radio low so the folks don’t know
I proceed with my passion of crime…
And though somewhat obtuse, I’ve been told this abuse
will more than likely make me go blind
But with a heart that’s aching, it’s a risk worth taking
’cause true love, they say, is so hard to find…
I’m going to take you back to sometime during the 1990’s. I can’t be sure of the exact date because like the computer that I had to take to Apple genius tech for repair, I’m vintage. Seriously. I was told that the computer was considered “vintage” and pressed to purchase a new one. I held my ground because at my age and color (grey) I think I kind of like vintage.
When I began playing fantasy football, it was just that. Playing. I co-owned a team with another who ended up being the best man at my wedding. We were both police officers at the time. Along with a small group of us and some outside friends, formed a league. Very early on it was obvious that someone had to handle the week to week duties. At the time the internet was a 9 month old baby and the most convenient way to forward information was with a fax machine or by landline telephone. And the most reliable information was found in daily newspapers or weekly publications like Pro Football Weekly.
The other owner of the team I was involved in recognized that I had business and organizational skills and asked if I would be “point” for the league and compile stats and distribute the weekly reports. Either that or he realized that I was the sucker that I sometimes tend to be and can’t say, “no”.
I worked the midnight shift on the police department. On Tuesday mornings, which really began Monday night, I would take my lunch and finish printing the weekly report after the Monday night results were published in the local paper. I learned the delivery route of the truck delivering the paper and knew where and when I could get that first edition. I can’t tell you how many quarters I dropped just to get those results.
After my lunch break was over, I would head back out on patrol. That patrol had weekly reports to distribute. In between calls, writing parking tickets, or answering (false) alarm calls, I would drop off the report in league owners mailboxes. Some reports were placed in mailboxes at the station.
Big Daddy woke up on Tuesday morning and found his in his mailbox. Igor had to wait until the Jewelry store he worked at opened up and for me to drop it off. And now that I think about it, I think Joe & Nick lived in Cleveland Heights at the time too. They may have found their reports in their mailboxes as well.
I said why can’t she see what she’s doing to me
If that bandstand girl only was here
And I’m living the dream, getting lost on the screen,
doing Presley in front of the mirror…
And I’m hanging around, getting high on the sounds
of the ladies and electric guitars
Cross a double yellow line to who knows where
with six sets of glory a night in some bar…
Midwest midnight
Ten thousand watts of holy light
from my radio so clear…
Bodies glistening, everybody’s listening
as the man plays all the hits that you want to hear.
Somewhere in the early days there was a collusion-ious (is that even word?) trade that was made that guaranteed an owner the championship. So about half the league left with our rosters intact and formed a new league, the North Coast Fantasy Football League, or NCFFL. From the very beginning I ran that league. I was instrumental in devising league rules, developing and writing a league manual, as well was The Category Players Report.
As Commissioner of that league I wanted a level playing field and was sensitive to suspicious trades of any kinds. Some of the rules put in place are carried over into this league for that reason. I feel fairness and a level playing field are the DNA of this league that was generationally passed down from the NCFFL. There are a number of owners in this league now who were in The NCFFL. I can honestly say that I have some very fond memories from that league. From holding drafts in my living room, to holding them in my co-owners living room, to holding them in a party room in an apartment complex in Mayfield Heights when my wife was working at Hillcrest even though we lived in New Bremen.
With a will to believe and my songs on my sleeve
Well if only I’d known from the start
Such a sensitive toy, for a suburban boy
who believed he was suffering for art…
And then something went wrong
and he watched as his songs
met a slow death of silence, but worse
He was taken to task, by some critic who asked,
“Do you write the words or lyrics first…”
At some point, life got in the way and I had had enough. It wasn’t what I wanted and it wasn’t what I planned. But like John Lennon said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I had to step aside. My co-owner ran The NCFFL another year or two, but didn’t or couldn’t keep it going.
This is where our current commissioner steps in.
Sean decided to keep the band together and took over the commissioner duties. Streamlining some rules, websites, along with fees & payouts, he rebranded the league to “The View Askew Fantasy Football league”. When I first met Sean, I was a rookie police officer being introduced to “Safety Town” where he was a counselor. Counselors were selected by us (the Police Officers) to handle, teach, and guide a young group of 5 & 6 year olds about basic safety. As life took over we lost touch until I saw him manning third base for the Heights High baseball team and later as a manager of the movie theater at Severance Town Center. My co-owner was responsible for bringing him into The NCFFL.
In the beginning of The View Askew Fantasy Football League, I wasn’t an owner because I was away from running any fantasy leagues. Be it football or baseball. I was through running them. In fact I didn’t even play fantasy football for two straight years.
But. . .
I hear ’em callin’:
“Boy, you should be grateful
to get your foot inside the door.
You know there’s thousands out there
who would take your place…
This attitude of yours, my son,
well, it lacks the due respect…
You bite the hand that feeds you–
even if you’re never fed…”
I got back into this for a selfish reason. My son was one of owners in my final years of running the NCFFL. He stuck around during the time I was on hiatus and joined Sean when he formed “The View Askew Fantasy Football league.” I “think” I became a co-owner with him sometime in the middle of that first year of this league. But it might have been the second. At first I was a silent co-owner. And I did so just so I could have additional interaction, contact, conversation with my son.
If I wasn’t around for the first year, then I was on board the second year of the league. I say selfish because we were both adults and lived about three hours away. But at least we were in the same state! There was a time when I lived in New Hampshire. We’d see each other occasionally, but not enough. At that time I even flew in to Cleaveland to conduct The NCFFL draft. Whatever path I took that lead me to where I’m at now, I’m honored to be a co-owner of “The Reckoning” in “The View Askew Fantasy Football League”.
Chasing the fame keeps ’em all in the game
But money’s still the way they keep score
And nobody told you that you would get older
strung out like some Avenue whore…
Waiting release, getting shot through the grease,
some L.A. madonna’s maligned
And New York’s calling just to see if you’ve heard
’bout the great English band
they just signed….
This year The Reckoning will again compete against some relatively new and some long time foes.
Long timers such as Sean P.(Big Daddy) our current champion. Good luck in your quest for back-to-back titles.
Igor:(Dinamos) who has been in this since the spin off that formed The NCFFL. Igor & I go way back to to the very beginning along with Sean P. Igor worked in a Jewelry store inside Severance Mall. I have memories hand delivering his weekly NCFFL report.
Nick: (Devil’s Snare) Brought in be Sean P into The NCFFL.
Sean H: (FNG) A former colleague of mine and brought in on the early days of The NCFFL. He was a co-owner at first, the other owner retired from the league.
Rory: (Sloppy Sparrows) Brought in by Sean P in The NCFFL.
Joe: (Anal Explosion) I believe was brought in also from Sean during The NCFFL days.
Mike: (Finkle & Einjoorn) Was a co-owner in The NCFFL. I don’t recall if my former NCFFL partner brought him in or of Sean P. did.
Brandon: (Seepy Squad) Isn’t an old foe. But he is someone who was around during The NCFFL days. Back when we held a live draft I would order draft kits. These kits consisted of a draft sheet and color coded stickers with players names, teams, positions. & bye weeks shown. During the draft a league team owner would call out the position & player drafted. Brandon would then take the corresponding sticker and place it on the draft board. I paid him $50.00 to handle the task for our draft. He’s come a long way from draft board person to runner up in the championship game.
Jeremiah: (Offsides Mother****!) Jeremiah was brought in last year by Sean P. Jeremiah, I don’t know you personally and have never met you, but if you’re a friend of Sean’s then that’s good enough for me, I look forward to day that we do meet.
Robert: (The Reckoning) My son. Confusing because we have the same name. He is the primary owner and I am the co-owner. Because he’s working his ass off during the week, I will be the one you will be in contact with for trade talks. I’m vintage and retired. Even though I sub in our local high school I am the co-owner with the more free time.
May all your players stay healthy, may Fantasy Karma grace you with good karma, and may you enjoy the season!
Take me back to…
Midwest midnight
Ten thousand watts of holy light
from my radio so clear…
Bodies glistening, is anybody listening?
Does the man still play all the hits that you want to hear…
— words and music by Michael Gee / Michael Stanley
— © 1976 Rugrat Music (ASCAP)