Back to Cleaveland’s favorite son, Michael Stanley for this weeks music. “Hold On” is from his latest and final LP, titled “Tough Room.” Michael Stanley died on February 5, 2021 and “Tough Room” was released about three months later. Michael passed the final tapes to Danny Powers to complete the production process just a week before he died. There are no live performances of any of the songs from the LP.
Saddle up boys tonight
we’re gonna let it ride
And away all boats and pray for a rising tide
‘Cause this won’t last forever
And it might be now or never…
Three more teams joined Offsides Mother F*****! in the playoffs this past week. With wins The Reckoning, Sleepy Squad secure a playoff spot. Big Daddy secures a spot off of some other teams losses. There are still two weeks left in the regular season and four more playoff spots left. I can see this coming down to the final week of the regular season for being completely finalized.
So hold on…hold on…
All you gotta do is hold on…
Yeah this might be
the time of your life tonight
Hold on…
According to the league’s Yahoo website, FNG, Anal Explosion, Dinamos, & Finkle & Einhorn hold the inside track for the final four spots. But with two weeks left this could still change.
Tell ’em how it is,
and tell ’em how it’s gonna be
We’re making all the lights
As far as the eye can see
But this won’t last forever
And it might be now or never…
The Jay division is still up for grabs. The Reckoning currently have a one game lead. They win out and they take the division. Should they end up in a tie with Big Daddy then the first tiebreaker would be used which is total points scored. The Reckoning is currently 130 points behind and I don’t see that deficit being made up.
In the Silent Bob division Offsides Mother F*****! has racked up enough wins to already secure the title. No drama and tiebreakers will be needed. OFM! has gone scorched earth collecting wins along the way. It’s pretty remarkable that twelve weeks into the season that they only two losses. Talk about “no way we’re gonna leave this thing just the way we found it,” Sheesh!
Ain’t no maybe there ain’t no way around it
No way we’re gonna leave this thing
Just the way we found it…
Hold On
–words and music by Michael Stanley
WEEK 12 RECAP / WEEK 13 PREDICTIONS / MOST POINTS RACE
WEEK 12 RECAP
4-1 for my predictions and the models this week.
The Reckoning <> Finkle & Einhorn:
They will need her blessed graces again to align with the models and hold off Finkle & Einhorn. “I scream her name”
Thursday morning The Reckoning’s chances of winning were 51% to 49% for Finkle & Einhorn. By kick off on Sunday at 1p the chances had flipped. F&E stood at 52% chance to win over The Reckoning’s 48%. I did a lot “I scream your name” on Sunday and by Sunday night it was clear that it was to no avail. The Reckoning could not avoid “a common disaster”. It now looks like that The Reckoning will have to start 2 QB’s who they had no intention on ever starting this year.
“I scream your name”
By Monday morning the chances had swung back to The Reckoning by 86% to F&E’s 14% for a Reckoning win. By Tuesday morning my throat was raw and my voice hoarse. Our Fantasy Karma Goddess has blessed The Reckoning again this week.
Big Daddy <> Anal Explosion:
Big Daddy grabs the “W” and resumes their march to the top of the Jay Division.
This game is one I looked at and said to myself, “Hmm”. Favored to win on Thursday morning 65% to 35% Big Daddy looked like a lock to win. Even more so when Anal E left a player in their starting lineup who was designated as OUT. Monday morning the chances for a Big Daddy win had fallen to 45% with a 55% chance for Anal E to grab the win. Our goddess stepped in and saved the day for Anal Explosion and gave them the win!! She also caused a penile explosion for me when I saw that The Reckoning has sole position of first place in the Jay division.
FNG <> Devils Snare:
But the models say that it’s FNG who snares the win and grounds Devils Snare.
There has been some strangely high scores this year and FNG had a RB who topped them all this week. RB Gibbs settled in at 55.40 for the week. I haven’t looked back through any previous year files so I don’t know if this is an all time high score. But it is for the year. FNG didn’t need the 55.4 pts though. Take away that total and they still win by over 15 pts. Devils Snare was handcuffed by WR Addison’s zero pts, RB Tuten 1.70 pts and RB Swift 1.90 pts. But the reality is, it wouldn’t have mattered. On Thursday Yahoo gave the Devils Snare a 22% of winning. With Gibbs’ performance the odds only went down from there.
Sloppy Sparrows <> Offsides Mother F*****!:
I don’t see a path where they prevent OFM! from clinching the division. OFM! for the “W” in this game.
Coming into this game the Sloppy Sparrows were 19 pt underdogs. Yahoo gave them a 28% chance to win. At one point during the games on Sunday, they actually were favored to win 52% to 48%. OFM! would have no part of that though. Despite some lackluster scoring from a couple of players by Monday morning they were 99% favorites and secured the win.
Sleepy Squad <> Dinamos:
No coin flip win this week for The Dinamos as Sleepy Squad takes the win.
Yahoo made this their game of the week. It was pretty uneventful in my opinion. Both teams underperformed but the Dinamos underperformed more and Sleepy Squad won the revenge game for the Ioffee Bowl. On Thursday Yahoo gave Sleepy Squad a 63% chance to win. By Monday morning the S-Squad stood at an 83% chance of getting the win. QB Allen fell over 20 pts short of last weeks 40 pts. And RB Tucker fell well short of last weeks 34 pts.
WEEK 13 PREDICTIONS
The Reckoning <> Anal Explosion
This is the second meeting between these two teams this year. Anal Explosion is looking to even the score this week to avenge their week 7 loss which was by less than 10 points. Anal E stopped a four game losing streak last week with their upset win over Big Daddy. The Reckoning, it seems the past several weeks have been blessed by our Fantasy Karma Goddess. Is it because “I scream your name” while down on my knees begging for her blessings? Whatever it is, The Reckoning is looking to extend their win streak to four games. A win would put them one step closer to a division title. Should the W slide over to The Reckoning it might have to be done with some back up QB’s. The models show a win for The Reckoning. A lot may depend on what happens in the Thursday games. Can Anal E get back to back upsets? “I scream your name” and look for a Reckoning win.
Big Daddy <> Devils Snare
This is also the second meeting between these teams. Big Daddy won the first matchup very easily by a 35+ point margin back in week five. The models show Big Daddy scoring an average of 158.35 points, Devils Snare average score settles in at 140.81. None of the models show a scenario where Devils Snare gets the W. But as Anal E showed us last week, Biggy D can be beat. With the QB injuries that have besieged Devils Snare, I just don’t see it happening two weeks in a row though.
FNG <> Sloppy Sparrows
In week two FNG clobbered the Sparrows by over 68 points. Looking back that might have our first clue how the Sparrows season was going to go. I’m not sure what else there is to say about the Sparrows. For whatever reason They have been completely ignored by any blessed Fantasy Karma. The models show the Sparrows with an average score of 130.55 points. FNG’s average score is marked at 151.47. FNG RB Gibbs will be carving out the W over the Sloppy Sparrows
Finkle & Einhorn <> Dinamos
Right now Yahoo has F&E sitting in the 8th and final playoff spot. They show the Dinamos in the 7th spot. Whoever wins this game might very well tighten their grip for the playoffs. Back in week 6 the Dinamos bested F&E by over 38 points. The models are showing an average score for F&E of 149.25 points. For the Dinamos that total is 136.18. The difference is due to some Dinamo injuries. Since their season high score two weeks ago the Dinamos have had some issues with point totals. It’s hard to go against Dinamos QB Allen. It’s also hard to go agains the models. F&E in a close one for the win. I think.
Sleepy Squad <> Offsides Mother F******!
In week 7 OFM! beat Sleepy Squad in a rather low scoring affair. Both teams are in the playoffs. OFM! has wrapped up the division. So this game is just for playoff seeding. The models show an average score of 152.09 for Sleepy Squad. OFM! average score is 158.76. Both teams are currently on two game winning streak. Only one will extend that to three. It’s difficult to go against OFM! but I have this gut feeling that Sleepy Squad will win this game.
MOST POINTS RACE
With two weeks left only a collapse by Big Daddy scoring will prevent them from taking the Most Points title. Even with that OFM! would have to continue to score high for a chance to overtake them. The rest are probably also rans.
| Rank | Team | Change | Pts. | PB |
| 1 | Big Daddy | – | 1968.96 | – |
| 2 | Offsides Mother F***! | – | 1866.84 | 102.12 |
| 3 | The Reckoning | – | 1838.86 | 130.10 |
| 4 | FNG | Up 1 | 1785.40 | 183.56 |
| 5 | Anal Explosion | Up 3 | 1698.90 | 270.06 |
| 6 | Dinamos | Down 1 | 1693.82 | 275.14 |
| 7 | Sleepy Squad | Up 1 | 1680.54 | 288.42 |
| 8 | Devils Snare | Down 1 | 1666.46 | 302.50 |
| 9 | Finkle & Einhorn | – | 1650.94 | 318.02 |
| 10 | Sloppy Sparrows | – | 1503.60 | 465.36 |